Mike D. has been sober for twenty-two years. He has sponsored over forty people. He still goes to the 6 AM meeting every single morning, even when it is raining, even when he is tired, even when he does not feel like it.
When asked why, his answer is simple: because someone did it for me.
Mike got sober in 2004 after what he describes as a decade of slowly losing everything. His marriage. His job. His relationship with his kids. He did not have a dramatic rock bottom. He had a slow erosion that he barely noticed until he was standing in the rubble.
His first sponsor, a man named Ray, told him something on day one that he has never forgotten. Ray said, you do not have to want to get sober. You just have to be willing to try. Wanting comes later.
Mike was willing. And Ray showed up for him every single day for the first year. Phone calls at midnight. Coffee at 6 AM. Texts that just said checking in. Not because Ray was required to. Because that is what sponsors do.
Now Mike does the same thing. He currently sponsors four men, ranging from six months to three years of sobriety. He keeps his phone on at night. He meets them for coffee. He listens more than he talks, which he says is the hardest part.
The work is not glamorous, Mike says. Most of it is just being available. But being available is the whole thing. When I was drinking, nobody was available for me because I had pushed everyone away. Ray made himself available anyway. That is what saved my life.
When asked what keeps him sober after twenty-two years, Mike laughs. These guys, he says, pointing to his sponsees. They keep me honest. Every time I sit across from someone who is on day thirty and terrified, I remember what that felt like. And I remember that I never want to go back.
